Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Things That Matter

Is the name of the song I'm listening to right now. It's by Rascal Flatts.

"Sometimes I try take on this world by myself. Thinking I got all the answers; don't need anybody's help. When God was right there waiting for me all a long, to fall my knees: surrender all. Things that matter - things that don't."

Is the last little bit of the song. And honestly, sounds a lot like me. I do try to do things on my own.

I mean sure, God is there and he loves me, but I have trouble letting him lead my life, instead of my leading it myself. I forget I'm here for Him, and not for me. That this life isn't about me, it's about Him, and His plans for me, and His people.

I few times I've tried to give myself up - and every time I some how end up doing my own thing on my own time how I want to do it.

I believe in Him, but I don't let him lead my life.

And I should. It's hard though. Really hard. I'm only 15, for goodness sake, what am I suppose to do? Are people really going to listen to what I have to say? Do I even have the guts to tell people? What's my calling? What am I suppose to do with my life?

People expect you to know by know what you plan on doing. But I don't know. I know what I like - photography and writing - but is that what I'm suppose to do? Is that what I want to do?

I know dance isn't going to by my career, I'm not near good enough. I love it an all, and it's a nice hobby, but not a future career (though that would be cool).

But what does God want? How do I find out? I don't hear him. Some people claim they can actually hear him, but I don't. So how do I know the answer?

Why do I feel so lost sometimes?

Why do I feel like I'm just going throw the motions?

Is that what teenagers do? Go through the motions? Until we're old enough to really do something?

What if I don't want to wait to make a difference?

Change needs to happen now, so why should I wait for other people to start it for me?

Just .. what to do ..

2 comments:

  1. Though you ask many hard questions that may not have answers, remember this: God has more than one thing in life for you to do. As the moments of time change, as the circumstances around the lives you touch evolve, your tasks will be unique to those circumstances. God gives us many interests, talents and gifts, precisely because He knows we are ever-changing, ever-growing even while remaining true to the core of who we were created to be. God's voice does not have to be heard. Some people can feel His voice in their passions; some see His voice in the things that stir them when they look at the world. Sometimes, God's voice is that spark of inspiration within us that we cannot ignore. Often we forget that those sparks can be God speaking. Today, tomorrow, 10, 15, 35, 70 or anywhere in between- we may choose to go only go through motions, or we may choose to open our minds to all the ways God shows us what our path for this moment is.
    -pmc

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  2. I know plenty of adults asking the same questions. Most of them really. Don't let them fool you. Sometimes you think you've got it, only to have God pull a j/k on you and send you in a different direction. Sometimes you realize later that thinking you were supposed to be about a) was really just preparation for a b) that you couldn't see at the time.

    The trick is to stay loose and enjoy the ride. Most of life isn't made up of big, life-defining, movie moments. They come along sometimes. Most of it, though, consists of the day-to-day (the fancy word for that is "quotidian," and yes, it comes from the Latin), the mundane (that too), the ordinary -- the little moments where can choose to serve ourselves or others, to open up or close ourselves off, to reach out or to not bother.

    To drive home because your meeting is done or wait around for 20 minutes so you can drop off a Frosty to your favorite dancer. :)

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